Ellen and co-host Julia Roberts reviewed some reviews you'll just have to see to believe. If you see a customer review of an item on Amazon that makes you laugh out loud, we want to see it! Send it to Ellen right here. http://www.ellentv.com/be-on-the-show/813

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Amy Mleczko
216 days ago

I found this extremely funny!!! Thought you’d get a kick out of it! Enjoy!

Amy Mleczko

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Customer Review

14,362 of 14,565 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012
By C. TorokAmazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery)
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.


I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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Showing 1-10 of 357 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Dec 18, 2012 1:34:23 PM PST
krista says:
LMAO!!!!! Best product review ever!!!
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Posted on Apr 1, 2013 8:00:03 PM PDT
Camperkat says:
One of the best-written and most humorous product reviews on Amazon. Thanks--and I WON'T be buying these.
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278 of 279 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No


Posted on Apr 1, 2013 11:18:30 PM PDT
Boomeresque says:
I literally almost got invited to leave the marital bed last night because I was reading this and other comments and was laughing so hard I woke up my husband.
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Posted on Apr 18, 2013 9:09:36 PM PDT
Konrad Ng says:
this is by far the funniest review i have ever read! my husband and i were laughing so hard for like 30 minutes to the point that i think our 2 year old thought we were insane!!!
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Posted on Apr 21, 2013 4:34:58 PM PDT
Thomas E Saurer Jr says:
Oh my! I thought I just read a hysterical review, but this has to be TOPS. I'm so sorry, but this had me howling out loud. I'm not sure I want to put myself through that. Thanks for the warning!
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Posted on Jun 26, 2013 9:35:27 AM PDT
William Dyndur says:
Bonus points for fitting "Heavens to Murgatroyd" in there. :)
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Posted on Jul 11, 2013 10:48:40 PM PDT
Rad_Rex says:
I decided to read this a loud to my husband after only reading the title of the review. There were times when I was laughing so terribly hard, I began coughing. He was laughing furiously, sometimes no sound escaping. Tears falling from our eyes - shallow breaths, wheezing. I had to stop reading for a bit just to catch my breath! Great story.
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In reply to an earlier post on Jul 25, 2013 2:29:16 PM PDT
Crysleanne says:
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Posted on Jul 25, 2013 2:32:25 PM PDT
Crysleanne says:
Oh... thank you for making my day..... I had just gotten off the phone from a sad call, and literally read this and I was laughing hysterically within 10 seconds.... Now the tears in my eyes are from laughing... Thank you again.
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108 of 108 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No


Posted on Jul 25, 2013 3:10:12 PM PDT
Jessica Jones says:
Laughing so hard my head hurts. I'm glad im the only one upstairs, if my kids had heard me laughing i would have had to read it again.
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74 of 74 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
‹ Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 36 Next ›
Review Details

Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag
3.1 out of 5 stars (269 customer reviews)
5 star: (104)
4 star: (22)
3 star: (27)
2 star: (21)
1 star: (95)

Add to cart Add to wishlist
14 used & new available from $21.97


C. Torok

Top Reviewer Ranking: 64,126

See all 3 reviews

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Likes 0 Dislikes 0
angela courtney
216 days ago


Likes 0 Dislikes 0
216 days ago

So ironic, just borrowed Mystic Pizza from the library, loved it again. I saw a news clip where that is a thing to post wild reviews on Amazon. Great show ladies.

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
Brenda Shumaker
216 days ago

Julia you are awesome whom ever gave 1 star must have been drunk and hit the wrong star he feel off the moon

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
Theresa Derosa
216 days ago

Some people are always negative. I think Julia is not boring she is
extriemly funny and you are certainly funny, my husband and I injoy your show very much.

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
anna lacey
216 days ago

two of the most beautiful women ever together on the same show is almost too much for my funny-bone to take....love you both.

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
Marcia MacElroy
216 days ago

I happened to think that Mystic Pizza was great, I enjoyed it! She certainly is not boring and not bland. The dance cd is great, have not seen the dvd of the show.

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
216 days ago

Julia was not a great co-host. She was extremely withholding and not fun like your crazy self. I hope today's co-host is a willing, self-less participant. Have a great day.

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
Pam Aquino
216 days ago

Like so many other I love your show. Super Great Job Ellen, Thank you
Julia Roberts, I have everyone of your movies, have been watching since the very beginning and will continue to do so.
You both are so outstanding:)
From over the top pet lover

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
216 days ago

Julia Roberts and Ellen D. Thought I had died and gone to heaven, great show.
By the way Julia, Mystic Pizza is a good movie, I have watched it several times over the years. Anyone who says you are bland and boring should book themselves an eye test and give their nethers a good once over with Gold Bond.

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
Paula Wollert
216 days ago

Ellen. I was thrilled that you had Julia Roberts as your co-host yesterday. She is my favorite actress. So Julia, how you even got 1star even for mystic pizza is beyond me. You have been a 10 since day one. I have seen all of your movies, but my favorite is Pretty Woman. My daughter and I watched at movie over and over. Then 3 years ago she passes at the young age of 38. Now it's a little harder for me to watch, but when I do I think of her and how beautiful she was inside and out.
Love your show Ellen. Watch it everyday and who knows maybe some day I will get lucky enough to get tickets to your show. Keep doing what you are doing. You bring so much joy and laughter to so many of us especially on some of our darker days that then turn Bright!

Likes 0 Dislikes 0
Linda Allin
216 days ago

Thanks ladies for being you. . . .you are just to funny

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DEbra Headley
216 days ago

Ellen I loved your show honey!!Your wonderful and Julia roberts is a favorite star of mine i love her movies!!And Ellen i love your show you make me laugh!!I loved the Julia roberts show with Ellen you guys have a Merry christmas and Let it always be on t.v to watch you!!
Love you!

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Sheila Foote
216 days ago

I thought the banana slicer was really funny and then the gold bond was funny also . Love watching Julia Roberts she is great at what she does and seems down to earth . Great so and very funny for sure.

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216 days ago

I don't think it on amazon anymore, but someone wrote a revue for the Bible that was worth looking for. Quite long and gigglegasm worthy. "ok story but the begets lost me in the beginning" type of thing. Sorry I can't even tell you if it was the U.S or the Uk amazon.
Hope you find it.
Thanks for being you

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