Although my story is different than yours, it has it's parallel's. My common law husband of 23 years passed away on July 15th of Cancer on what was to be our wedding day.Seven weeks later, my other closest person, my Mom, passed away. The parallel between us is the fear of the unknown and the complete vulnerability. As with you, it changes everything in your life. I am faced now with selling my home and moving my daughters somewhere. Unlike you I haven't worked for 18 years and am frightened to pieces by that part of the unknown. Any form of death, whether it be a divorce, a job loss, or an actual death, creates all kinds of what if's and self doubt. Please know that in time, you will begin to heal and as you do, you will grow. Hugs!