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ive sent you emails and videos through my email adresses mrsdyedrgn@aol and yahoo.and i know your busy and i feel im becomming a burden and a pain in the rear.christmas was a disappointment for the 7th year in a row,not being able to give the kids christmas and going to my mother in laws didnt help either.our 8 year old ,16 year old and 18 year old went off after we got in our car and left.i was already depressed and got more depressed and upset bcause of the way things went down.they were done unfairly.not having christmas at home again was bad enough,i knew insult to injury was going to happen to them.we have disappointed them time and again on holidays and when they need and want things ,we cannot afford to give and do.we live in a dinky house .5 people and 2 dogs,to small for us and now bcause our son moved home we have no place to put table and chairs ,that went to back porch.its embarassing to have company ,which is not often and my parents and one of my brother cant visit bcause of no room for a wheelchair to move around in and medically difficult for mom to go up and down stairs without causing more pain in her body that she deals with as it is.my family needs an overhaul ,furniture,clothes,beds dressers,etc etc etc,we cannot afford to move nor buy a house.house we live in is in need of some repairs that havent been taken care of since we moved in.our furniture from beds to sofas are old and used.never had new.our car is having transmission problems,this is the third vehicle that has had this issue.we cannot afford to fix it nor buy a new car.we have to tell kids no everytime they ask for what they wantt and need.we cannot afford to do when the need .to wear same clothes they grow out of till tax time and even then cant afford to buy enough ,shoes etc.we cannot get help through state for food bcause husband makes to much according to their guidelines.so we have to pinch week to week and sometimes longer on groceries and even nessecities for the household and bills suffer.ive given details in my emails to you of what im asking you to help with.still husband and kids have no idea ive been doing this.still for good reason.im tired of disappointing the kids on things they need and some wants.i wouldve liked to start the new year on a positive and try to start new,but so far its been a let down.i would love to see some happiness on my family faces and hope in theyre hearts.they deserve it.my eldest daughter is not doing well in school for different reasons.both girls get picked on in and outside of school bcause they dont have new clothes and bcause of theyre shoes,etc.my youngest wears uniforms to school and sometimes has to wear same one twice.to hear your kids say its not fair bcause of this and that and people sometimes rubbing it in,and my husband feeling he works for nothing and we bicker over finances and get upset bcause we arent doing for our kids and as a family should.its a daily stress for us.he is the only one working.its harder when he gets small checks bcause of the holidays and now more taxes are going to be comming out of his checks,its just not looking like 2013 will be good either for us.im to where all hope is lost and this is the way life will be .to sit and watch other people have wishes granted is heartwarmingand i sit and wish it were us ,at the same time thinking never going to happen.i know you cannot help everybody and fix everything .to have a whole new start for us would mean the world to us.we dont take vacation,we dont get to do fun fsmily things bcause we cant afford too.my eldest wants to shop at the mall with me ,but cant afford it.we dont let friends stay the night bcause of food situation and embarassing to the kids. theres really no kids around here for the youngest to play with,she gets stuck hangin out with her sisters friends when they come around.but anyway.hope you will read my emails and watch videos as well.im embarassed to be writting this in a public forum,but figured it give it a try.my husband deserves to have an uplift in his spirit as do the kids.and if we ever move out of here that i would have to give up my dogs again like b4.its hard to find landlords who will allow dogs and and full pitbull and pitbull mix can be an issue with most . they are my constant everyday friends.i would be very lonely during the day when all are gone without them.we live in a nieghborhood that has had shootings ,2 which occured close to the house.imm sorry for rambling and being a pain in the rump,but had to try one more time