I am a customer service agent and I laughed so hard at your comments about bad customer service! I am in Canada but work for an American company and I have done customer service most of my working life and I couldn't agree more with what you said. I do have to say this though and if you use this on your show please don't use my name, but even when a live person answers and actually listens to the customer, the customer still isn't happy.
I currently work a customer service job till my writing takes off. The team I work on has 25 live operators answering the phone 24/7 365 days a year. We have to work the general floor before getting on this team so we know what our company does and how they do it, so we can send the customer to the right dept. You would not believe how the customers DON'T listen.
We are English speaking and we are NOT allowed to interrupt the customer. When we pick up the calls, the greeting is,"Thank you for calling (whatever company)this is Juanita, HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL?" What part of that says, tell me why you calling in the most long drawn out way that you can? My job is to get that caller into the que for the correct dept within 45 SECONDS. Not a typo there. Let's just say the company I work for deals in websites, emails and so on. Music to my ears is, "technical help for email please".
It blows our minds that customers don't know what they are spending money on. The main reason we have to work the floor first before getting on this team is so we can pick out what the caller needs help with, fast. Also, one of the biggest irritations for us is that customers don't read the service agreement they agree to. So if their website goes down because they didn't renew, it's not our fault they changed their email address without telling us. We can only send the renewal notices to the emails on the account.
I am currently on 3 month stress leave because of the job. All the customers screaming, threatening, cussing and so on finally took it's toll after almost 5 years.
So that is the flip side of customer service. I am going into consultant because there are those who are working customer service that shouldn't be and need to be properly trained.
I wouldn't want to hear even a nice voice in the middle of the night telling me the battery is low. Change those 9 volt batteries every 6-8 months. Be careful how you dispose of them, they are known for starting fires under certain cir***stances. Best thing to do is place some electrical tape over the connectors.