When Bethany said "It's excruciating pain....I don't see how people do this." I can relate 100%, to everything - the shame; feeling like a failure; the pain; losing friends; judgmental friends and family. My own father disowned me as a result of my impending divorce. I wanted the fairytale too, but after 7 years, it dissolved. I find that divorcees are quite inspiring...in seeing how they overcome. You don't realize how inspiring you are, Bethany, just by being open and honest about your feelings and not trying to maintain a facade. By doing so, you're healing will be so much healthier. I've learned a lot about life and about myself throughout this painful process. Two things I'd like to share with you:
1) When something bad/unfortunate happens, you have three choices: you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or can let it strengthen you!
2) You never know how STRONG you are until being STRONG is the only choice you have!
It WILL get better...you WILL survive, simply because you are a survivor!