I found this extremely funny!!! Thought you’d get a kick out of it! Enjoy!
Amazon Try Prime Your Amazon.comToday's DealsGift CardsSellHelp4 days left to get FREE Shipping for Christmaswith Amazon PrimePresented by Discover Card
Shop by Department Search Grocery & Gourmet Food Hello. Sign in Your Account Try Prime Cart 0 Wish List Grocery & Gourmet FoodBest SellersBreakfast FoodsBeverages & CoffeeSnack FoodBakingEdible GiftsFresh FlowersCandySpecial OffersSubscribe & SaveCustomer Review
14,362 of 14,565 people found the following review helpful 1.0 out of 5 stars Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012 By C. TorokAmazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!
First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.
BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.
Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.
But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.
AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.
I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.
Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.
Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.
If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse | Permalink
[Add comment] Comments Track comments by e-mail Tracked by 32 customers
Sort: Oldest first | Newest first Showing 1-10 of 357 posts in this discussion Initial post: Dec 18, 2012 1:34:23 PM PST krista says: LMAO!!!!! Best product review ever!!! Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 376 of 382 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Apr 1, 2013 8:00:03 PM PDT Camperkat says: One of the best-written and most humorous product reviews on Amazon. Thanks--and I WON'T be buying these. Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 278 of 279 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Apr 1, 2013 11:18:30 PM PDT Boomeresque says: I literally almost got invited to leave the marital bed last night because I was reading this and other comments and was laughing so hard I woke up my husband. Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 272 of 274 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Apr 18, 2013 9:09:36 PM PDT Konrad Ng says: this is by far the funniest review i have ever read! my husband and i were laughing so hard for like 30 minutes to the point that i think our 2 year old thought we were insane!!! Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 185 of 185 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Apr 21, 2013 4:34:58 PM PDT Thomas E Saurer Jr says: Oh my! I thought I just read a hysterical review, but this has to be TOPS. I'm so sorry, but this had me howling out loud. I'm not sure I want to put myself through that. Thanks for the warning! Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 138 of 138 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Jun 26, 2013 9:35:27 AM PDT William Dyndur says: Bonus points for fitting "Heavens to Murgatroyd" in there. :) Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 428 of 428 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Jul 11, 2013 10:48:40 PM PDT Rad_Rex says: I decided to read this a loud to my husband after only reading the title of the review. There were times when I was laughing so terribly hard, I began coughing. He was laughing furiously, sometimes no sound escaping. Tears falling from our eyes - shallow breaths, wheezing. I had to stop reading for a bit just to catch my breath! Great story. Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 230 of 231 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
In reply to an earlier post on Jul 25, 2013 2:29:16 PM PDT Crysleanne says: :) Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 20 of 30 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Jul 25, 2013 2:32:25 PM PDT Crysleanne says: Oh... thank you for making my day..... I had just gotten off the phone from a sad call, and literally read this and I was laughing hysterically within 10 seconds.... Now the tears in my eyes are from laughing... Thank you again. Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 108 of 108 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
Posted on Jul 25, 2013 3:10:12 PM PDT Jessica Jones says: Laughing so hard my head hurts. I'm glad im the only one upstairs, if my kids had heard me laughing i would have had to read it again. Reply to this post Permalink | Report abuse 74 of 74 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No ‹ Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 36 Next › Review DetailsItem
Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag 3.1 out of 5 stars (269 customer reviews) 5 star: (104) 4 star: (22) 3 star: (27) 2 star: (21) 1 star: (95) $25.00 Add to cart Add to wishlist 14 used & new available from $21.97
C. Torok(REAL NAME)
Top Reviewer Ranking: 64,126
See all 3 reviews
Your Recently Viewed Items and Featured Recommendations
Get to Know UsCareersInvestor RelationsPress ReleasesAmazon and Our PlanetAmazon in the Community Make Money with UsSell on AmazonBecome an AffiliateAdvertise Your ProductsIndependently Publish with Us›See all Amazon Payment ProductsAmazon.com Rewards Visa CardAmazon.com Store CardShop with PointsCredit Card MarketplaceAmazon Currency Converter Let Us Help YouYour AccountShipping Rates & PoliciesAmazon PrimeReturns & ReplacementsManage Your KindleHelp
amazon.comAustraliaBrazilCanadaChinaFranceGermanyIndiaItalyJapanMexicoSpainUnited Kingdom 6pmScore dealson fashion brands AbeBooksRare Books& Textbooks AfterSchool.comKids’ Sports, Outdoor& Dance Gear AlexaActionable Analyticsfor the Web AmazonFreshGroceries & MoreRight To Your Door Amazon LocalGreat Local Dealsin Your City AmazonSupplyBusiness, Industrial& Scientific Supplies Amazon Web ServicesScalable CloudComputing Services AskvilleCommunityAnswers AudibleDownloadAudio Books BeautyBar.comPrestige BeautyDelivered Book DepositoryBooks With FreeDelivery Worldwide Bookworm.comBooks For ChildrenOf All Ages Casa.comKitchen, Storage& Everything Home CreateSpaceIndie Print PublishingMade Easy Diapers.comEverythingBut The Baby DPReviewDigitalPhotography East DaneDesigner Men'sFashion FabricSewing, Quilting& Knitting IMDbMovies, TV& Celebrities Junglee.comShop Onlinein India Kindle Direct PublishingIndie Digital PublishingMade Easy Look.comKids' Clothing& Shoes MYHABITPrivate FashionDesigner Sales ShopbopDesignerFashion Brands Soap.comHealth, Beauty &Home Essentials TenMarks.comMath Activitiesfor Kids & Schools Vine.comEverythingto Live Life Green Wag.comEverythingFor Your Pet Warehouse DealsOpen-BoxDiscounts Woot!Discounts and Shenanigans Yoyo.comA Happy PlaceTo Shop For Toys ZapposShoes &Clothing
Conditions of UsePrivacy NoticeInterest-Based Ads© 1996-2013, Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates