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Amy Mleczko
Name Amy Mleczko
Location Exeland, WI
Joined 222 days ago
Amy Mleczko
The Reviews Are In
222 days ago


I found this extremely funny!!! Thought you’d get a kick out of it! Enjoy!

Amy Mleczko

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Customer Review


14,362 of 14,565 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012
By C. TorokAmazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery)
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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Showing 1-10 of 357 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Dec 18, 2012 1:34:23 PM PST
krista says:
LMAO!!!!! Best product review ever!!!
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376 of 382 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Apr 1, 2013 8:00:03 PM PDT
Camperkat says:
One of the best-written and most humorous product reviews on Amazon. Thanks--and I WON'T be buying these.
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278 of 279 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Apr 1, 2013 11:18:30 PM PDT
Boomeresque says:
I literally almost got invited to leave the marital bed last night because I was reading this and other comments and was laughing so hard I woke up my husband.
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272 of 274 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Apr 18, 2013 9:09:36 PM PDT
Konrad Ng says:
this is by far the funniest review i have ever read! my husband and i were laughing so hard for like 30 minutes to the point that i think our 2 year old thought we were insane!!!
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185 of 185 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Apr 21, 2013 4:34:58 PM PDT
Thomas E Saurer Jr says:
Oh my! I thought I just read a hysterical review, but this has to be TOPS. I'm so sorry, but this had me howling out loud. I'm not sure I want to put myself through that. Thanks for the warning!
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138 of 138 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Jun 26, 2013 9:35:27 AM PDT
William Dyndur says:
Bonus points for fitting "Heavens to Murgatroyd" in there. :)
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428 of 428 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Jul 11, 2013 10:48:40 PM PDT
Rad_Rex says:
I decided to read this a loud to my husband after only reading the title of the review. There were times when I was laughing so terribly hard, I began coughing. He was laughing furiously, sometimes no sound escaping. Tears falling from our eyes - shallow breaths, wheezing. I had to stop reading for a bit just to catch my breath! Great story.
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In reply to an earlier post on Jul 25, 2013 2:29:16 PM PDT
Crysleanne says:
:)
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Posted on Jul 25, 2013 2:32:25 PM PDT
Crysleanne says:
Oh... thank you for making my day..... I had just gotten off the phone from a sad call, and literally read this and I was laughing hysterically within 10 seconds.... Now the tears in my eyes are from laughing... Thank you again.
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108 of 108 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No

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Posted on Jul 25, 2013 3:10:12 PM PDT
Jessica Jones says:
Laughing so hard my head hurts. I'm glad im the only one upstairs, if my kids had heard me laughing i would have had to read it again.
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74 of 74 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you? Yes No
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Review Details
Item



Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag
3.1 out of 5 stars (269 customer reviews)
5 star: (104)
4 star: (22)
3 star: (27)
2 star: (21)
1 star: (95)

$25.00
Add to cart Add to wishlist
14 used & new available from $21.97

Reviewer

C. Torok
(REAL NAME)

Top Reviewer Ranking: 64,126

See all 3 reviews


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