Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Bethenny Frankel and Ricky Gervais
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Bethenny Frankel
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Bethenny Discusses Her Divorce
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Hello, I am a first time commenter. I have a few thoughts about the Bethenny Frankel segment. First off, kudos to Ellen for airing it, as in today's feel good society, I believe that the majority of talk shows and hosts would not touch the subject. Not to mention the typical Ellen response of compassion and empathy. Even more kudos to Bethenny, for her bravery, honesty, and emotional openness with regards to her Divorce.
I was divorced back in 1987, and I have always told people that I would not wish divorce on anyone. However, I lost the love of my life, almost six years ago to Kidney Cancer. After going through that experience, I would not wish Cancer on anybody, not even my very worst enemy!
My wife and I met on Matchmaker.com in 2003. We were not perfect people, but we were perfect for each other. We were married on my 45th birthday, September 4th, 2005, (she was divorced for 22 years, and I for 18 when we tied the knot), and on the day she passed away, we were married for one year, five months, and three days. But, we spent the best 3 1/2 years of our lives together before she got sick, and you can't put a price tag on that!
Since she passed away, I have gone on to get my Associates Degree in Business Administration, and now I am two years into the Social Work program at Governors State University in University Park, IL. The goal is to get my Bachelors and Masters Degrees, then qualify to take the LCSW exam (Licensed Counselor Social Work). The ultimate goal is to become a licensed counselor and to specialize in Grief Therapy and Grief Counseling in order to help people through the grief journey, and to turn the negative of losing my wife in to a positive. After all, I believe like Ellen, that we are all here to help each other through this journey called "LIFE!"
The last four months have been a struggle, as I went in the hospital for foot surgery, and spent 2 1/2 months there, I had to drop my classes for the fall term due to the hospitalization, and I owe the college outstanding tuition money for the classes I dropped, as my financial aid has run out. And did I mention that my company has chose to not bring me back to work after the hospitalization, due to a bad economy, and the fact others have been let go, and hours have been cut?
I apologize, as I did not want this to come across as whining. I know that I will get through this tough time, after losing my wife, Jeanette, there is nothing I can't triumph over!
Which brings me to my final thoughts, which are addressed to Bethenny. I really don't know all that much about her, but I love her spirit and energy! And while this divorce business sucks beyond belief, (most certainly made even greater by the public nature of it), she will get through this and have good and bad days through the process. Also, just like Ellen, with her new, upcoming show, she will have the great opportunity to touch other lives, and help others get through the experiences she is going through now. What a wonderful gift to be given!
I wish Ellen and Bethenny nothing but the very best of continued and future successes, and thank you for touching my life, and the countless others you do not know about!
All the very best regards,
Dave Riel
Highland, Indiana
I dont know the cir***stances of bethennys separation, mine is a cheating husband. Nothing makes u feel more of a failure, disappointment and of just not being good enough. After 16 years he admitted to it, which i had been suspect of for a few months. We had lost a car to repo and are going thru a foreclosure, adding all that really makes you feel like a failure and embarassed in front of friends and family. I am now living in a town 11 miles from where I work. My 18 just graduated and we can't even get her a car to find a job and get back and forth to home. I am now on food stamps and trying to get rental assistance. I thank God for my landlord that has hasn't recieved rent in 3 months, she is understanding but I know she will tire of this soon. We have been split since Oct. The first two months i cried endlessly to the point of hyperventalation. I never thought I would be in this position at 48 with an 18 and 15 year old (girls). I am trying to be strong for them but it is very hard. Family and friends are nothing but mad at him, and silly me has sympathy for him for whatever (midlife) crisis he is going thru. Now he wants back but how can u trust or feel confident about yourself after that. All I think is how does she look..skinner..prettier..funner..how did he act to her? I am trying to be strong and smart about it, how would you trust again or know what they are really thinkig. It actually does feel like someone has died in your family. Things would never be the same as they were. After 16 years of marriage they are all you think of, every subject reminds you of something to do with him. This has really affected our 15 year old even the dogs (4) and cat and of course my self confidence. I don't know where my life will go from here it is not only scary but loney and extremely financially difficult. I'm not saying money makes things better but not having has much any more makes it even harder. Family and friends are just mad at him and tell me to get strong an go on. Yea easy to say. My strong hold has been my best friend she just tells me when you get home from work be sure to watch Ellen to be sure you have a laugh everyday and the encouragement she gives the world. I wish Bethennys show started sooner I need all the encouragement I can get these days. And Ellen you are great! Thank you for everything u do for the world! I will keep watching to at least have an hour of happiness in that day. Please anyone who reads this keep my, my girls and my dogs in your prayers for the strength to get thru this and to somehow a better life.
Love your generosity but that Asian guy did nothing as Jimmy kimmel said the other two helped "pregnant" Amy. He did not deserve the money oh well.
Interesting? I wrote a negative comment about Bethanny and it's not here. I didn't know there was a criteria.
Hello Ellen , Or whomever can answer my question I LOVED the jeans you wore in the episode with Betheney Frankel I have tried on my own but to no avail. So if possible would you be able to let me know what brand they were I love the pants. Thankyou for taking the time to read my email and any help with this question is greatly appreciated.Sincerely Patricia.
Wow, Bethenny you sure got me crying when you said you were scared. I know how you feel and as I read all the other comments I am crying my eyes out. It is so hard to go thru seperation. The reason I feel like a failure is I have now been unemployed for over a year and a half, heavily in debt, I have no friends and my family does not know. My closest relative lives 600 miles away and will have to take me in with no job and no money. I don't even know where to come up with the money to move. Failure of a 22 year relationship, having to move 600 miles and start all over with nothing is scaring the daylights out of me, I don't know how people do it, I am just trying to get thru each day as I have also been sick for 2 weeks. Thank God for Ellen and thanks to Bethenny for making me not feel as alone as I actually am. Bless you and your show. I wish everyone could live by "Be kind to one another"
I just would like Bethenny to know that in no way is she a disappointment or a failure. She is a beautiful woman. She has a lot going for her. To be a disappointment and a failure is what I have been going through. Just really down and not being married or having kids. My parents get comments from friends about them not having any grandkids. There is so much more, but I just want to get this out to Bethenny. Keep your spirits up and just love your daughter all you can. Good luck on the new show and whatever else is coming your way.
I just would like Bethenny to know that in no way is she a disappointment or a failure. She is a good person and a beautiful woman. She has a lot going for her. To be a disappointment and a failure is what I have been going through for a long time. Just keep your spirits up and love your daughter in anyway you can. Good luck on the new show and all that is in your future.
WOW, listening to Bethenny talk about her divorce was heartbreaking. I hope she finds comfort in her family and friends. I too am going thru a divorce. My husband and I separated on Christmas Day 2012, yes Christmas Day. My birthday was on Dec 28, I also feel like such a failure to myself, our marriage and also to my husband he is the military and is dealing with PTSD. He has been on one tour of duty to Afghanistan and is scheduled to go back in 2014. The feelings and emotions are coming so fast, that I can't type that fast before the next thought comes to mind. I am a total loss of what my future holds. I do know that I am strong and a fighter and I will survive this day by day. Thank you Bethenny for coming forward and speaking about your divorce. Your strength gives me so much hope! I have always loved watching Ellen!! And now I look forward to watching The Bethenny Show!!
Since seeing Bethanny on the Housewives reality Show, I have been fascinated by her personality. I since have followed her on your show and her own reality show, and like you said, I feel as if I know her, when in fact, I am sure I truly do not. Seeing Bethanny deal with things that have haunted her from child hood into adult hood, and watching how that trauma manifested itself into almost sabotage behavior became a lesson for me. I share the same sense of humor and sometimes obscure outburst for random reasons and it was so nice to feel like I was not the only woman who said those kind of things out loud. In fact, I am certain that this behavior is release for all things evil happening around us. Or at least it is for me. I felt that she and I were so much alike and felt like each time she struggled with something, I new exactly how she felt. So many of those things were out of her control, and when they happen to you, you know how you are suppose to react, but you some how sabotage the situation by acting the complete opposite. I prayed that her fairy tale would not end, but as in my life also, we seem to almost jinx what we want the most. I will continue to follow her successes and defeats, and hope that her strength will carry her through the tough times. I would be thrilled to some day meet her and just have a small conversation to be able to say that I actually know Bethanny Frankel.
Dear Ellen,(Bethanny)
I am writing you because I want bethanny to know that I experienced a divorce that has seperated me from my family and many friends. People are horrible in judging others. You said it best Ellen that people don't live your life and they need to realize all is not what it seems on the outside. I have had to make family out of the people in my life who stood by me when I most needed it. I lost a lot along the way from people judging me and my situation. But the happiness I experience now in my life is so worth it. I truly believe that you cannot help when your heart will fall in love. My husband and I now were neighbors for 8 years. We began having coffee and conversations when I began working in his city where he is a police officer. I am a nurse and I was doing travel nursing infusions. In a period of three months it turned into something that I cannot explain. We had an affair. Not saying that this is right, but we caused a lot of pain to our families. But you would think that your family would support you even if they did not condone the behavior. Not in this case. I don't mean to tell all to you but I feel that bethanny needs to know that things will get better. It does suck in the beginning and if she needed someone to talk to or write I am here. We have over come great hurdles in our life in the last 7 years and we both gave up a great deal for love. We have five daughters between us and they were all friends before this and they have all come around for the most part. My oldest a 23 year old does not speak to me but i figure in time this too shall come back. We struggle day to day financially but the the friendship and love that we have is like no other. People told us it would not last and it was just lust. (Am I rambling yet!!!LOL) We laugh a lot with each other and our girls. We have done counseling and many boxes of kleenex. Laughing about stupid things helps. So bethanny try to find something humorous once a day a laugh about.And know that there are or were other people in worse situations!! Look at us!! That story is messed up!! But ellen you get me through my days when I watch you knowing that the kindness I show people when they are sick and I am taking care of them is the karma in my life. I always try to find the humor in every situation. For example this lady had her leg amputated and was depressed. I made her laugh about something and then I asked her if she wanted to play a joke on someone!! The student nurse! She agreed. So when the student came in all perky and somewhat serious she asked if we needed anything. I quickly jumped up and said "yes this lady lost something and we cant find it! you need to help us look for it! She asked what it was and the patient knew right where I was going with this and she lifted her stump and said "MY LEG!" She laughed so hard as I did. The student did not find it funny and left. The patient thanked me for the laughter and said she felt better. So I truly believe that kindness and laughter with get us through.
Ok getting back to the subject. Life is what we put into it. We cannot predict how it will go. Its messy at times and we have to learn to deal with the mess. Bethanny is still the same person and its nobodys damn business. It is rough in the beginnig but with each day find some humor, cry if you need to and know that everything that you do you do it for that little boy. Another good peice of advice....Don't ever talk bad about your husband in front of your little one no matter how you may feel. Always keep it positive for him. Ok so now that I have talked your ear off !!!!!! Thank you Ellen and Bethanny for all you do. Many blessings to both of you.
With many hugs and pinches
Tracey Zacks
I was having cheese and crackers yesterday when I saw Bethenny on your show. I had no idea she was getting a divorce. She started speaking and cried a little and I started to cry! i am going through a break up of 13 years and it very hard! Im trying to find a place to live with my best friend Mr.magoo. It is almost impossible with me working 32 hrs a week and 11.00 an hour. I have applied for some part time work and still waiting to hear. It is really depressing to live someone that you know doesn't want you there! Please tell her good luck and we WILL make it through this awful thing. Thank you Ellen for being there for me to watch! you make me laugh in this VERY difficult time! LOTS OF LOVE Cheri and Mr. Magoo1:}
I have never written on a website before but I have to for this one. Yesterday, my absolute two favorite and most admired women were on my tv together. First I have to say, Ellen makes me so happy I do not know what I would do without her! I am a 51 year old woman and have loved Bethenny since her first show on her own. (I never watched housewives and to be honest I'm not really one for reality shows.) But I saw hers and immediately admired her comfortable ability to be open and honest about anything and everything so much I was hooked. I think that is rare, I think people hide so much and Bethenny was a breath of fresh air for me. I also LOVE her sarcasm strength and energy! I've read all her books, (actually I've listened to them on audio which was very pleasant!) and she has changed a lot of things for me, mostly because she struggled with quite a bit, but always persevered! She made things make sense, she made things seem way more simple than I was allowing them to be. Skinny girl started me on my health journey about 8 months ago. "Food is just food", it took 50 years and Bethenny to say that for it to click!
I am very sad that she is struggling so right now. I'm sorry that she and Jason could not find a way to stay happy together ...but I'm not fairy tale girl. I am married 23 years, I know how hard it can be!! It's none of anyone's business what I think, however (lol!) I saw an incompatibility in Jason and Bethenny from the start, matter of fact it just may be the original attraction, but during hard times, incompatibilities are not very helpful. They are both beautiful people, and as much as I wish Jason appreciated counseling more than "I saw" that he did, I hope that they can both move forward and be (or become) wonderful co parents to their beautiful little girl. Bethenny has not disappointed me, nor do I think she is a failure... I think she is real, going through the same things as many of us just as before, and that is what I love about her. Now about fairy tales.... I should write a book about that one! lol. There is no such thing. Life just is, and for those of us who try our hardest, hard things still happen.
To Bethenny and Jason, I wish you both strength as you move forward and hopefully peace in your hearts will soon follow.
Dear Bethenny (and Ellen): Listening to you talk with Ellen yesterday about your divorce gave me hope that I will be okay, and that I am not alone. It has been almost two years since my divorce, but I still have strong feelings of failure, coupled with lots of anger. I devoted the last 30 years of my life to trying to be a good wife and mother. I have never cried so much in my life - it is as if the most important person to me in my life has died. I lost everything that meant the world to me (my home, my lifetime partner)....I am 50 years old, financially struggling, and think what man is going to want me now. If my own husband didn't want me, then who will? We could have made things work if he had kept his pants zipped and resisted temptation. I thought I could get over the affair, and make things work - I tried really hard for 12 years, but I always felt like he was thinking of the other woman, and could not seem to please him no matter how hard I tried. I simply gave up. He is quite happy with his new life.....I have been told that I am a strong woman for doing what I did, but I do not feel strong at all. I have lost all of my self esteem, and every day is a struggle. It is so discouraging to hear of so many marriages falling apart, and how people take for granted one's love. I don't think my broken heart will ever heal, and I am scared to love again. Thank you for sharing your personal feelings on national television, and for giving me hope. Lisa
Beth- "You are beautiful, you are smart, you are intelligent, you are funny" (said like the maid on "The Help" says to the child) You are NOT a failure. Sometimes life gives us things that make us change, make us stronger, give us more empathy, give us more joke material. You even did that in the midst of sharing your pain. I have only know of you on the Ellen Show, but you are more an inspiration today to me than you have ever been. You showed great character by showing up and talking about the recent events.
I love each time you come on the show as you and Ellen are so funny together. I think that later looking back, you will see that it is OK life moved this way and you will be better than you were before. That is certainly what I hope for you.
A big hug to you !