Vote on Matthew Perry's Peach, Puppets & Polar Bear Jokes!

Matthew Perry has told three jokes; the "Peach" Joke, the "Puppets" joke, and now the "Polar Bear" joke… to mixed reviews! Tell us what you think about each one! 

 
 
  

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Comments

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Leslie R.
361 days ago

Ohhhhhh now I get it. I knew Matthew Perry couldn't be this strange. After a few glasses of wine this Polar Bear Joke is actually funny. I was starting to think that there was something wrong with the guy.....good thing, cuz he was my favorite friend.

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Rudy Rodriguez Jr.
361 days ago

Because they came from Matthew, they're funny. ;o)

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Tiffany
361 days ago

About the polar bear joke: I didn't really understand that Matthew had said the punchline so after it was over I was just kinda staring at the screen for a long while until I realized "Oh... that was it."

I think that I was so bummed from that really being the punchline that by the time I thought about it I didn't really remember if it was funny or not.

P.S. It's really hard to find out where we're actually supposed to vote on these jokes, so you might want to put a link up somewhere for it or something.

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Jackie Atkinson
362 days ago

Waiting for Matthew's next joke is like waiting for the next installment of your favorite TV show. He needs to be on each week in order to get the next fix.

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Terri
362 days ago

Matthew
I think you are adorlable..... I love your jokes and they make me very funny with my friends when I tell them or at least they pretend i am .....thank you.... and Ellen I love your show it always makes me smile and laugh even in these tough times... I think Matthew should co host alot with his jokes. And no this is not matthew......

Terri from Denver....

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Megan Houston
362 days ago

The jokes are stupid but hilarious. But for Nancy's sake I'm glad Matthew cleaned it up! Dang, that peach joke was borderline vulgar. Way to G rate it with the polar bears. Matthew... gets it. Love it!

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Summer Mu
362 days ago

The polar bear joke was very very old. I did not laugh at all, because I knew that joke already.
And I didn't laugh also because I was still thinking about his puppet joke. I still didnt get it. Maybe next time when Matthew is on the show, would you please Ellen, get him to explain the puppet joke, just ..... Ahhh. Because I didn't get it.
Btw, is this the right place to leave a comment and the real Ellen will see and read it?

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Nancy Cooley
362 days ago

Those jokes are hilarious and remind me of the "Shaggy Dog" jokes back in the '70's? They were longer but they all had this "Oh, so silly" punchline! Keep it up Matthew, please!

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Rebecca
362 days ago

I love Matthew Perry and his jokes. He's funnier than any written material given to him by others, and I've thought that for a long time (I mean, naturally funny in real life). Have him on the show any time. A real treat would be having him, Howie Mandell, Timothy Olyphant and Harry Connick Jr all on the same show - they're Ellen's funniest guests thus far.

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Tara
362 days ago

Hi,
I just wanted to say that I personally thought the joke which Matthew said today was stupid. I was waiting and waiting to hear something good. Only to end up disappointed. I'm vert sad.
I love your show Ellen and I love you. You make me laugh every day
Keep up the good work

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Kathryn
362 days ago

I liked Matthew Perry's Puppets joke, did not think today's was funny at all...passing on a email that I received that is funny!!!

Children Writing About the Ocean. The next time you take an oceanography course, you will be totally prepared.


1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breathes through an ******* on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. ( Bob by, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

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Elisabeth
362 days ago

Hi Ellen & Matthew!

I'm a big fan of yours from Norway, and I think Matthew is so funny!!! And togheter you're HILARIOUS! :)

The polar bear is just lucky he isn't "bi-polar" :D

Love you guys!

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Sylvia James
362 days ago

Matthew Perry's polar bear joke was like waiting for the "other shoe to drop". I laughed so hard...love it!

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Ira Colley
362 days ago

I have told that joke to break the ice when dating. Knowing the joke and such. His delivery is way of the mark. Other than that, i love the joke. His version of it...not so much.

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Maegan Davis
362 days ago

This tease suspense idea is really working for you. I hope the joke doesn't suck. It's time!

...Hmm. My first reaction wasn't exactly a laugh, haha. :)

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