Classic Sale Tuesday!

Ellen told a classic joke on the show, and now she has a sale on some of her classic Ellen gear! Check out all of the great things you can get from the Ellen shop for a great price, only today! It's Classic Sale Tuesday!

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Steph McGlade
404 days ago

Q.How does the butcher introduce his wife?

A. Meat Patty :D

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doreen milito
417 days ago

I have a classic joke.

what do you call a fish with two knees???

A TUNA fish!!!

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Courtney Taylor
427 days ago

How do you get a tissue to dance?

Put a little boogie in it

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Christine Vincent
431 days ago

Here's a few jokes for you,
I thought I saw and eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

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Emma Andrews
444 days ago

Q: What is Black & White & Black & White & Black & White ?
A: A nun rolling down a hill!
Q: What's Black & White and laughs a lot?
A: The nun that pushed her!

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Brittany Ford
444 days ago

For classic joke Tuesday:

Q: What don't you eat for lunch?

A: Breakfast and Dinner.

Haha, enjoy!

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449 days ago

What do you get when you mix a centipede with a parrot?

A Walkie Talkie!

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lori mcpherson
478 days ago

Q:How does a ninja laugh?

A:It "nun-chuckles"

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515 days ago

What do you get when a Health Food Salesman comes to your door?
Vite im in

What has two knees and swims?
A Two Knee Fish

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sallyann  sherazee
516 days ago

Hi Ellen
this is my classic joke..........made me laugh out loud while trying to get the company's payroll completed.

Why don't sharks eat clowns???
Ans: 'cause they taste funny.

hahahahaha..........says alot for my sense of humour.

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Cynthia T. Youngern
516 days ago

This joke came to me when my son Patrick was 8 years old and he is now 34, and my Dad told him and my dad is 85 now, and my dad heard it on the Pal Harvey radio show and he passed away a few years ago and if that's not a Classic I don't know what is, here we go......
How do you catch a unique rabbit? You neak up on him.... You (unique) on him

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Judy Moffett
521 days ago

Hi Here is a good " Knock Knock " joke for Classic Tuesday Jokes:
Have Ellen tell the audience start the Knock Knock joke. They will say: Knock Knock and Ellen will say : Who's there ? and the audience will be dumb-founded and then all will start laughing and laughing. Bet you will hear at least : " hhmmmm......." I know Ellen can make it great! I just love her to death Judy

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Kim Dicks
521 days ago

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Cow go!

Cow go who?

No silly, cow go "moo"!

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gavin hannan
533 days ago

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
answer.... a stick

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534 days ago

Q: What do you call a burrito mixed with ice?
A: A Brrrrrito

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