Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Wednesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Wednesday!

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Myra
461 days ago

I know its not Tuesday here in New Zealand but I dont care and Im kind of just commenting assuming its Tuesday somewhere else.

Whats red and looks like a bucket?

------> A RED BUCKET

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Krissy Perrine
461 days ago

Knock knock
Who's there
Adolph
Adolph who
Adolph ball hit me in da mout and dats why I talk dit way

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Bruce Gillis
472 days ago

Why do eskimos wash their clothes in "Tide" ??

Because It's too cold out Tide....

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Lee  McClaine
472 days ago

Classic joke Tuesday. When I got up this morning I went to the kitchen, and swatted the flies that were there. When my wife got up she asked if I had gotten any of the flies. I said yes two males, and three females. She looked at me, and asked how did you know that? I told her there were two males on the empty beer can, and three on the telephone !!!

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Cheryl Tomco
472 days ago

Love your classic jokes!
Did you know God meant to make two Yogis. But he made a BOO BOO!

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Cheryl Tomco
472 days ago

Love your classic jokes!
Did you know God meant to make two Yogis. But he made a BOO BOO!

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Patty Henry
472 days ago

Heres a joke for your classic joke Tuesday.
Did you hear about the fellow who stole the calendar? HE GOT 12 MONTHS
Why are policeman so strong? BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS HOLDING UP TRAFFIC

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Peggy Ciraldo
473 days ago

Like Matthew Perry's jokes, that really aren't jokes, I have a good one that my grandfather told me when I was 8 years old. I thought it was hilarious. Here it is:
This guy has a banana in his ear, and he goes up to the bus driver and the bus driver says, "Hey man, why do you have a banana in your ear?" And the man says, "What? I can't hear you! I have a banana in my ear."
So random! Can you share this with Ellen? I would love to hear this on her show.

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Lauri
473 days ago

Do you know how to make a kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

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Mary Bendewald
474 days ago

If you mix a ****er spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost you get a ****a-poodle-boo! or a rooster!

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Cynthia McClain
475 days ago

The answer to your joke for tuesday 4/9/2013 is a ****erpoodleboo. I like that one Ellen

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christine perales
475 days ago

****a-poodle-boo

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Denise
475 days ago

I got it! a ****er-poodle-boo!

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Colleen
475 days ago

In answer to: What do u get when u cross an alien, a spaniel, and a poodle?

An out of this world being with stinky ears and bad teeth.
In other words, a loving dawg. (Who needs to see the Vet.)

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Cornelia Benson
475 days ago

Give me a break....Ellen. You are going to have a Tuesday joke cliffhanger until next week? You think your jokes are even that funny to begin with? You need to hire new people on your staff. Your show is starting to get less and less and less. I would rather find tickets to a refreshing show, like Jimmy Fallon, before I would go see yours. It was good, in the old days, but things are not adding up lately. Like when you interrupted those 3 little science boys. You did 2 out of the three and then went to a celebrity who is on all the talk shows about the baby she didn't even carry and then you went back to that 3rd science boy. That's just plain rude. This is a direct reflection on the people that work for you.

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