Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Wednesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Wednesday!

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204 days ago

How do you call a guy that is cute, faithful and who will fight for you? A Pokemon

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204 days ago

How do you call a guy who is cute, faithful and who will fight for you? A Pokemon.

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Freya Zemek
213 days ago

An Aussie joke: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A wooly jumper.

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Kathryn Lester
228 days ago

Two jokes that I absolutely loved (and drove my family bonkers with retelling constantly) are:

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahaha

What do you call a frog that's illegally parked?

Love the show - it's how I try to live my life - sharing laughs and giving. Giving really is a selfish fulfillment for me. I get such a lift from it that I just want to keep repeating that high. I can almost get the same effect from watching your show. Thanks

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ree McCormick
228 days ago

I start show out each am at 6. Laughing is a great start to the day. I also downloaded your new CD on my I phone and exercise to the songs. Makes it much more enjoyable. You have so much kindness in you for others and that is precious. love you and your show. Ree (Kim) McCormick

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Angie Tucker
236 days ago

I can't remember if I posted this before (sorry, I am getting a little older)...

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

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Jordan Gibbs
238 days ago

Why didn't the gazelle trust the cat?
It was lion!

Just thought of it!

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Ann Lousch
241 days ago

My grandson told me this one...

What did the 0 say to the 8??

Nice belt! :)

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246 days ago

Did you hear about the dyslexic ,agnostic ensomniac ? He stays awake at night wondering if there really is dog .

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Lee Martin
254 days ago

Hi Ellen!! Saw your joke weds... one of my favorite jokes of all time not sure you can use is though..Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?? Cuz he was looking for a tight seal.lol

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Paige Ford
258 days ago

Ellen, I've got a joke for you.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

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elizabeth dailey
268 days ago

10 minutes into your show and I'm already laughing! Love the sucker with no wrapper on it trick!

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Shawn Hunter
273 days ago

I just told my friend a joke my uncle told me a long time ago. Neither of us got it the first time we heard it wanted to see what you thought.....

If you're dancing with your honey and your nose gets kinda runny, you might think it's funny, but it's not!

Hint: it's in the last phrase. Hope you like it.

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Patti Carr
278 days ago

Here is a riddle for your classic joke segment:

The person who makes it sells it.
The person who buys it doesn't use it.
The person who uses it doesn't know it.
What is it?

A casket.

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Jann Lindsey
278 days ago

Classic Joke Wednesday: How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

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