Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Wednesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Wednesday!

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Judy Dawson
1 day ago

I have a classic joke for you:

What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

Close the door, I'm dressing.

Why were the three little ink drops crying?

Their father was in the pen and they didn't know how long the sentence was going to be.

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19 days ago

BrendaFess. All of those positive things you said, you forgot liar (about her still being a cover girl). I would have to agree with Cornellia that a joke cliff hanger, for a week, SUCKs!

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Maria Guirola
22 days ago

ShutterGiftCards.com - Buy or Sell Discounted Shutterfly Gift Cards & Certificates at Great Prices!

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Jim Rooney
28 days ago

Q: What ancient detective sells real estate?
A: Sherlock Homes

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Jacqueline Byrd
81 days ago


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Juliette Bonenfant
147 days ago

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow "It's pasture bedtime"

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Ann Hernandez
165 days ago

This is not a comment I can't say anything but good thing about Ellen, love watching her.

I have a job for Classic Wednesday

What did the fish say when he hits a wall answer Dam


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Mysti Alvarado
167 days ago

classic joke for you

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Brenda Sheftall
169 days ago

JOKE FOR ELLEN: what did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It's pasture bedtime. (Get it?)

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Cheryl Zolmer
171 days ago

How did the mushroom describe himself on his dating site profile? "I'm a Fun guy" ( fungi ) ...ha ha ha hilarious ! ;D

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182 days ago

Hey Ellen, Why don't Lions & Tigers eat Clowns, Cause they taste funny.

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Susan Ablack
191 days ago

How do you tell if you have an elephant in your refridgerator?
You find his footprints in the butter.

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Della Pavey
194 days ago

Ellen here's one of my husbands goofy jokes I thought might be good for your classic jokes: did you hear about the Indian that drown? (No how did he drown?)

He drown in his own tee"pee"

Love you girl! You are the best at lifting my mood on a bad day!

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Heidi Redmond
196 days ago

How do you catch a polar bear? cut a hole in the ice, put pea's around the hole and when the bear stops to take a pee you kick him in the Ice hole.

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199 days ago

Ellen, I am a laughaholic, Everyday at 4pm, I get a fix. Thanx, Girl, keep'em coming. Luv ya

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