Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Wednesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Wednesday!

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lmchidgey
416 days ago

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper!

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Kelly Jo Kropf
416 days ago

what kind of bee makes milk instead of honey ? Booies

whats Beethoven favrite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa!

why are pirates so mean? I don't know they just arrrrrrrr!

what did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Damn!

what do you can a deer with no eye's? no eye deer!

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Kelly Jo Kropf
416 days ago

How do you make a tissue dance? you put a boogie in it

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Deb Karr-Francis
416 days ago

What do you call 2 guys hanging from a window?

Kurt and Rod

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Maria
416 days ago

Why did the snail take off his shell?

He was feeling a little sluggish.

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Maria
416 days ago

For Classic Joke Tuesday:

What's the difference between a potato farmer and a baseball fan?
One yanks the roots and the other roots for the Yanks.

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Maria
416 days ago

What do you call a bad psychic?

Telepathetic.

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Sandi Fratrik
418 days ago

What happened when two silk worms decided to race?

They ended up in a tie....

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Scott
421 days ago

I have a joke for Joke Tuesday
Knock Knock , Whose there ? The Pope , The Pope who ? EXACTLY !!!!

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Rachel
422 days ago

Wow! What can I say about Ellen and her show?! I wish you had all day for me to tell you why I love Ellen, her show and have been a fan of hers since seeing her on the Johnny
Carson Show in 1984! I love her laughter, since of humor, smile, disposition, kindness, positive outlook, caring and loving nature! If there is a day when I am sad and feeling blue, all I do is turn Ellen's Show; not that I would need a reason. Her style, monologues and laughter always bring a warm, happy feeling and a big smile! Ok, I will stop for now. I know you must have many more important messages to review. Please say Hello to her and I am sending her and her family my best wishes and warm hugs from Rochester
Michigan! May God bestow his blessings with her and her family. Take care,
Rachel north

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Julie
422 days ago

Why did the frog have a tummy ache?
Because he ate everything that bugged him.

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Mike
423 days ago

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?

She had mittens.

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Hannah G
423 days ago

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

Poke her face

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Deb Mielke
423 days ago

Joke for Classic Joke Tuesday:
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to show the raccoon that it can be done.

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Adrienne Tobias
428 days ago

what is it called if a toddler refuses to take a nap? Resisting "a rest".

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