Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Wednesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Wednesday!

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Comments

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Cheryl Tomco
373 days ago

Love your classic jokes!
Did you know God meant to make two Yogis. But he made a BOO BOO!

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Patty Henry
373 days ago

Heres a joke for your classic joke Tuesday.
Did you hear about the fellow who stole the calendar? HE GOT 12 MONTHS
Why are policeman so strong? BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS HOLDING UP TRAFFIC

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Peggy Ciraldo
374 days ago

Like Matthew Perry's jokes, that really aren't jokes, I have a good one that my grandfather told me when I was 8 years old. I thought it was hilarious. Here it is:
This guy has a banana in his ear, and he goes up to the bus driver and the bus driver says, "Hey man, why do you have a banana in your ear?" And the man says, "What? I can't hear you! I have a banana in my ear."
So random! Can you share this with Ellen? I would love to hear this on her show.

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Lauri
374 days ago

Do you know how to make a kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

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Mary Bendewald
375 days ago

If you mix a ****er spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost you get a ****a-poodle-boo! or a rooster!

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Cynthia McClain
375 days ago

The answer to your joke for tuesday 4/9/2013 is a ****erpoodleboo. I like that one Ellen

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christine perales
376 days ago

****a-poodle-boo

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Denise
376 days ago

I got it! a ****er-poodle-boo!

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Colleen
376 days ago

In answer to: What do u get when u cross an alien, a spaniel, and a poodle?

An out of this world being with stinky ears and bad teeth.
In other words, a loving dawg. (Who needs to see the Vet.)

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Cornelia Benson
376 days ago

Give me a break....Ellen. You are going to have a Tuesday joke cliffhanger until next week? You think your jokes are even that funny to begin with? You need to hire new people on your staff. Your show is starting to get less and less and less. I would rather find tickets to a refreshing show, like Jimmy Fallon, before I would go see yours. It was good, in the old days, but things are not adding up lately. Like when you interrupted those 3 little science boys. You did 2 out of the three and then went to a celebrity who is on all the talk shows about the baby she didn't even carry and then you went back to that 3rd science boy. That's just plain rude. This is a direct reflection on the people that work for you.

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1 Reply
Larry
404 days ago

With the election of the new Pope underway, We should all be cheering for Cardinal Secola to win, But it will never happen, mainly, because of his name….We’d have to call him Pope SeCola…

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toni hull
411 days ago

why don't cannibals eat clowns?

they taste "funny"!

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Trevor P.
411 days ago

My 5 year old came up with this joke...

What do you call a ****er spaniel, poodle, chicken?

A ****erpoodledoo.

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Jennifer murphy
411 days ago

Did you see the peanut that was walking down the street? He was a salted.
What did the snail say that was riding on the turtles back? Weeeeeeeeeeee
There was a knock at the door and a man opened it and saw a snail, the man picked up the snail the threw it to the end of his yard, three yrs. later there was another knock at the door he opened it, it was the snail (he said what the heck was that all about ).

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Elizabeth Calvert
411 days ago

What to John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name

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