Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Tuesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Tuesday!
Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry.
Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.
When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.
To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put 1 URL in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.
Access the latest videos, view hundreds of photos, enter contests and watch exclusive backstage clips -- wherever you use your phone!
Put your knowledge to the test with the hilarious trivia game on your iPhone or iPad - and impress Ellen with your brilliance!
Share
Comments
What happened when two silk worms decided to race?
They ended up in a tie....
I have a joke for Joke Tuesday
Knock Knock , Whose there ? The Pope , The Pope who ? EXACTLY !!!!
Wow! What can I say about Ellen and her show?! I wish you had all day for me to tell you why I love Ellen, her show and have been a fan of hers since seeing her on the Johnny
Carson Show in 1984! I love her laughter, since of humor, smile, disposition, kindness, positive outlook, caring and loving nature! If there is a day when I am sad and feeling blue, all I do is turn Ellen's Show; not that I would need a reason. Her style, monologues and laughter always bring a warm, happy feeling and a big smile! Ok, I will stop for now. I know you must have many more important messages to review. Please say Hello to her and I am sending her and her family my best wishes and warm hugs from Rochester
Michigan! May God bestow his blessings with her and her family. Take care,
Rachel north
Why did the frog have a tummy ache?
Because he ate everything that bugged him.
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poke her face
Joke for Classic Joke Tuesday:
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to show the raccoon that it can be done.
what is it called if a toddler refuses to take a nap? Resisting "a rest".
Why didnt the skeleton cross the road??
because he didnt have any guts
A wife was dreaming in bed, she suddenly wakes up and shouts, "Quick my husband is at home!" Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window.
How does a midget get around town? - In a Mini Van
Good Morning -
I am the practice manager for a large Spine and Wellness Center in Syracuse NY. We will be installing large monitors in our waiting room which will help educate our patients on eating healthy and making healthy choices etc.
To keep the patients engaged we wanted to mix it up with some fun ideas -what better way then to post a joke! Your jokes are clean, and non-offensive.
May I please use some of your jokes on out monitor so our patients can laugh ?
You know laughter raises endorphins:) !
I appreciate you and Ellen and your team! My husband and I watch you every day( well I have to DVR because I am at work when you are on). My Husband has young onset Alzheimer's (he was 54 when they gave us the diagnosis just 2 years ago.) He and I watch your show every evening. Thank you for really putting a smile on BOTH our faces and we can laugh together !
Let me know if you give permission to use your jokes- we will not post them on the web, they will display in our waiting rooms only.
Best Regards! God Bless you and your family always.
Rebecca D Salmon
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station.
Mickey & Minnie Mouse were in divorce court. The judge says, "Mr. Mouse, I know it's hard to live with someone who's mentally ill but that's not grounds for divorce". Mickey looked at him and says, "but your Honor, Minnies not crazy, she's f'n Goofy! :-)
Wahoooooooo Ellen that very nice of you,I am going to Australia.
Nice jokes