Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Wednesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Wednesday!

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Dan burton
301 days ago

Hey Tony, how do you catch a unique animal? Unique up on it. Hey Tony, How do you catch a tame animal? Tame way, unique up on it!!!!!

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Saskia Kostic
312 days ago

JOKE FOR CLASSIC JOKE TUESDAY:

What is blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.

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Saskia Kostic
312 days ago

JOKE FOR CLASSIC JOKE TUESDAY!:

What is worse than finding a hole in your apple?
A Holocaust.

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jr
313 days ago

Heres a joke for classic joke Tuesday : What did the battery say to the potato chip?
I'm Eveready are you Fritos-lay.

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irene
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Tiana Parker
324 days ago

Classic joke from my husband...

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "no way, we don't serve your kind here!"
The mushroom says "why not? I'm a fun guy!"

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Georgie Bright Kunkel
324 days ago

The so-called bad photo of the prom picture showing the woman much taller than the man is size discrimination, right?

And as to age discrimination, you have a four year old talent on your show but I havene't seen an almost 93 year old like me on your show. I write a weekly column and go on the comedy stage in Seattle and do humor talks all over my area.
I rock.

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Pam DiGiacomo
324 days ago

Joke for classic joke Tuesday.

Why did the telephone get it released from jail?

It was off the hook...

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Pier Angela Parker
324 days ago

What's big, bright, and silly? A fool moon. =)

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Laura G. McCrimmond
330 days ago

What did 0 say to 8? -- "I like your belt!"

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DeeAnn Greene
330 days ago

I want to submit a joke for Classic Joke Tuesday- since Ellen loves to dance, I thought this would be perfect:

How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

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Millena
330 days ago

Hi Ellen I have a joke ..
My sister can not get enough of you tell me, is the following: what is a blue dot on the plane
Answer: A aeromosca
kkkkkkkkkk
bjsss

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Nancy Trainer
331 days ago

A joke for Tuesday-
What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary, a Thesaurus....

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Kylee Barker
331 days ago

Got a GREAT joke that I got from a friend of mine who passed away.

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I can't serve you!"
The mushroom says, "why not? I'm a fungi!"

Wakka wakka wakka!!

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lisa willmett
338 days ago

Ellen, this is a joke from my 13 year old granddaughter, which by the way every Tuesday I text her your jokes! So today she sent this: How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!

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