Ellen has a new weekly tradition called "Classic Joke Tuesday," and her fans are really into it! We've been getting submissions from EllenTV.com, Twitter, and Facebook! Check out the best of Classic Joke Tuesday!

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Noranne Poirier
46 days ago

hi my name is Noranne Poirier and I live in Florida in the winter and W.V. in the summer time
I have a classic joke Tuesday for Ellen. Why did the mushroom go to all the parties in town?
Because he's a fun-guy

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119 days ago

A joke: why couldnt the blond write the number 11? Because she didnt know wich nr 1 was first.

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181 days ago

We want to share this joke with Ellen.

Did you hear about the the kidnapping in New Orleans? He woke up!

We love the Ellen show!

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Michelle Nelson
237 days ago

I can't help but to send you this joke.......

What does a horny toad say??

Rub it Rub it hahahhahah rofl lmao lmfao hehehe

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280 days ago

Here is a joke for you : What is the cheapest meat ? ..... Deer balls, there under a buck..

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Michael Hunt
305 days ago

Anybody hear about the guy who was cooking and got arrested for drugs? Apparently he was making Chimichangas and ran out of certain ingredients, so he substituted them with marijuana. He was charged with cooking CheechandChongas with the intent to distribute...

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Deb Derbabian (Dur-bob-ee-in)
348 days ago

Not sure how to submit a joke, and I cannot take credit for this one, but here it is: (paraphrasing). Mother skunk and her babies were hanging out, when suddenly they see a wolf approaching. Mother says to her babies; let's all form a huddle, put our heads together and sPRAY. Oh, come on, got to love it..........
Thanks for spreading LOVE and COMPASSION..........Deb

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Karr-Lynn Cochran
357 days ago

I have a joke for you, that I personally made up. O.K. tell me what you think.
Diet Pepsi and Pepsi One were having a whose better argument. When Pepsi rolled up and said, " your both drinking liquids" Sooo Dah.

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362 days ago

How do you organize a space party?
You Planet! :)

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425 days ago

How do mules open locked barns?

with Don-keys.

What did one autumn leaf say to another?

I'm falling for you.

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Debby Thomas
427 days ago

Ellen What kind of bee gives milk? A booby

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443 days ago

this is my daughters joke from when she was little. what do you get when you put more than one Ron in a room??? morons!!!

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Karen F Pierson
467 days ago

I would like to send you 2 of my grandfather's stories for classic jokes Tuesday BUT where do I send them?

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Jody Rinker
470 days ago

April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

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Liz d'Armand
473 days ago

A couple named Beatrice and Benny live in Mississippi. The problem they had was that they didn't know if they should continue with their current birth control choice or for Benny to have a Vasectomy. After careful consideration, the Vasectomy seemed to be the best option. Benny made the appointment with Dr. Kutchpeenie. On the day of the appointment, Benny came downstairs in a tuxedo, tails, vest, the whole nine yards...Beatrice said, "Benny, what on earth are you so dressed up for". Benny said,"If I'm going to be im-potent, I'm gonna look im-potent."

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