your experience with bullying

Teasing and name-calling can be incredibly hurtful, and in the past few years we've all been reminded of how important it is to start talking about it. Ellen is committed to ending bullying, and she wants your help! If you or someone you know has been bullied, if your child or sibling is being bullied, we want to hear from you. Tell us how bullying has affected you. Maybe you've experienced it firsthand, or you've been a bystander who has witnessed it.

You can also tell us what you've done to stop bullying in your school, or if your school is doing something amazing to combat bullying. We'd love to hear your story.

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(Page 1 of 2) 12Older
111 days ago

Hey I know what it's like to be bullied. I started this site for people, and I would really like to try and help, so if you are, or know someone who is being bullied and wants to talk visit or email.

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232 days ago

hi ellen
have just read a few stories on your bullying page. am sad to say that bullying doesnt just happen around the school yard. although surviving the school bullies, i have recently been the victim of workplace bullying and harrasment. they got away with at school and theyre about to get away with it at work because people fear being a witness and/or cant be bothered. I now bear the emotional and psychological scars and I need to change jobs. These bullies are protected. Adult bullies - really? - time to change your nappies!

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Siv Hanmer
331 days ago

Hello my name is Siv Hanmer, I am 15yo. I live in Østervrå located in Denmark. I live with my dad Colin Hanmer, my Mother Mia B.Hanmer and my lovely siblings Luna, Alexander and Freja. My father is English and my mother is Danish. I have been bullied for many years, but two years ago I moved school. This has meant that I now finally been happy and want to live life to the fullest. Now that I have finally gotten over the many years as a bully victim, I have decided that I will fight bullying. I have tried several times over facebook, tried to get my friends to see videos about bullying. I dare not go to other schools and give talks about bullying, because I'm afraid of being persecuted again.

Not only in America are children and young people bullied in schools. Children all over the world are being bullied and it is terrible. In some countries it is culture that makes the bullying. Many refugees and foreigners being bullied by their appearance. But the real reason they are being bullied is fear. Just because you are afraid of people who look different, it is not okay to bully. Many refugees may not look different. But it may be that they have a different religion and must not be the same as me. But they are still human beings just like me and you. There are many who do not understand it and maybe will not understand it. but I hope that by talking about bullying and its consequences, that people will get a new understanding of bullying and fighting against bullying. Everyone has the right to be told they are perfect as they are, it is true. However, many children and young people themselves adults, destroys others with stupid comments. who were just meant for fun. You can be bullied with everything from what clothes one wears to who you choose to be with. And it's not okay, because that destroys people.

I write to you Ellen, because I know that no one in Denmark will take me seriously, because I'm not famous. I would never be heard in Denmark, they would just think why should I listen to her she's just a crazy oddball, a small child she does not own anything that is especially .. But I want to spread the word about bullying out into the world. But I can not there is no one who will count me get something, because I'm just plain. I did not think that it's okay that you are being bullied at school. I thought that it is uakseltabel that one can go so far that it is being bullied take his own life. It is terrible for those who must live with the consequences of bullying. I want to help those who are being bullied to feel good about themselves. But I also want to help those who bully. Those who bully often makes it to lift themselves up, because they feel bad. Tit's drinking and abuse in the families bullies come from. They just want attention and well-being. Everyone should feel good. I know that I can not help everyone, but I know I can do my best to get others to understand that we must treat each other as we want to be treated. Everyone should get to know that no one is normal, because we are all quite specialized.

I think that bullying is horrible and must be stopped now.

I have it a little difficult by having to write my story down. So I chose to slice it as a story where I break in after each section.

Eight years ago in a big schoolyard full of children was a little girl, along with her three best friends. She was so happy and smiling. The girl had long been looking forward to this day, her first day of school. She knew whom she was to go to class. But she was so excited anyway. The day was not very long, but she felt like several hours. She sang and played with the other children. How did her first day of school.

(My first school day was the funniest day of the year. I walked in the door with my friends. Their names Natasha, Millard and Jack.)

days passed and turned into weeks and months. For the little girl, the school was a breeze, but at the end of the year everything changed. The boys in her class had become wilder and the girls began to tease her. It was the first sign of anything that would come.

(I was teased most of the girls I knew so well. When I drew something, I was always told that it was ugly. They also destroyed my drawings, by drawing on top.)

next year she was there again, in the school yard filled with children. Her class formed a group, no one could hurt them if they were just in the group. This year, the new teachers. The girl got great respect for these teachers. Everyone quickly found out if you showed respect for the teachers, they showed respect for them. The days flew by and suddenly it was in July The girl's teacher did a lot of fun out to make a Christmas story about the girl's class. For the teacher got to keep as much of the students. Before the girl came to look around, she could read almost anything. Soon the year was helpful and a new could begin.

(I was not teased so much this year, the teacher was very tough. Two of my best friends had moved just when the year began. So I had only one friend, Natasha.)

so she was suddenly back in the middle of the schoolyard. It was great, the girl loved this day. The class formed the group, so the parents could well go, they knew just what to do. This year there was nothing to be changed, or should be.

(I have allergies and in second grade, I suddenly got a very bad outbreak. I got medication for allergies, but it did not work.)

days passed, everything was as it should. But in the middle of the year, the girl began to sneeze. She sneezed almost every day, but she was not cold. She plastered always nose, she was mobbed with it. the others called her elephant trumpet, brat, idiot, geek and oddball. It was obvious that she was out of the group. There were several who were already out of the group and the first that she knew that this was no game, it was real.

(It was terrible, I was teased that I could not smell anything because I was snotty. There was not really anyone who would play with me. Except my best friend. It was hard, it was very tough.)

One day they did the girl's class to know that their math teacher was pregnant and had sygemældes. While she was on sick leave frown she replaced, by a new and advanced teacher. The whole class started immediately, find the numbers. But it turned out that the teacher did not respond to the numbers. The girl gave up fast to be hard and cold, it just was not working. The other students said hat the girl was too saccharine. The girl still had her best friend who got behind her.

(I could really like my new learning. But if I would not bullied, I had to find new numbers the others could do. My learning was often frustrated and angry about the boys' behavior. So much that she was having to chase them, to get them outside the door.)

then came the next year. They were larger and had moved up to the big school. They were more subjects, more hours and more teachers. It was a class full of mischief and harassment. But there were no teachers who would work with bullying in the girl's class. The girl had fewer friends, bullying was worse, but she still had her best friend endnu.Pigens allergies got worse and worse. The teacher was really good and made sure that everyone was challenged. Within a few months, the girl was just as adept at reading, like those in the sixth grade. Mathematics was easy as nothing. But there was one subject the girl was not happy, it was English. The other kids bullied her, that she could not speak English, because her father was an Englishman.

(The other kids in my class often came up to me and said "something in English" and when I finally said something in English, they laughed just scornfully. Bestæmte So I decided that I would never speak English to someone who understands Danish .)

it was next school year, all the girl's friends were gone. They were ashamed to be friends with a bully victim. But she had become friends with two other bully victims. The girl's class had new teachers again and it meant that there was bullied a lot worse. One day the girl was angry that the others bullied, happened to come she will never forget. The other children formed a ring around her and began a hitting and kicking her. But she did not cry as it meant that they had won. They stopped happily as a lesson came in and asked what was going on. All we answered just playing and the girl sat down on his seat. It was not the last time this happened and often got the girl blamed for starting it.

(It disappears just never all the thoughts I have about bullying it is so clear. Often I see it as if it is happening right now. But the physical was not the worst. It was much worse when they said ugly tig on me and got me feel me wrong.)

the girl became more and more introverted. She would not listen to what others said. She wanted to be alone and not be disturbed. The only thing she wanted was to hand and draw in her own little world. Solo she would not be alone, she just would not bullied by other children. The girls in her class started saying nasty things about the girl's family. They harassed the girl as she walked in her big brother's old clothes and when she came to school with dress mobbed the her too. But because of all the bullying she discovered another girl C. C was never happy and the girl would do anything about, although the girl was always sad, sour or frustrated.

(I always sat and drew and while I subscribed to the others say just what they wanted. I blocked everything and everyone when I drew. It was only if you touched me or my drawing that I reacted. During the hours I would not follow because it was boring. I could only enjoy mathematics for which they worked in groups or alone like me. But when my teacher found out that I had made the whole book at the beginning of the year, it was no longer fun. Sometimes when you would find a group I went over and asked C, for she was the only one I knew would not let me do it all.)
girl and C began to be friends. C was mobbed by moorland father could not hand down. C went on to explain that it was because her father had fallen down the stairs and broke his spine. The other children in the class were just happy and kept. The girl and C were always together in everything at school. When the girl was beaten helped C always fight back and when C had been in fights helped the girl her always to be calm again. C and the girl had some good times with plenty of laughs when they were not in school. But it was not enough for the girl, she was still bullied at school and would not attend school.

(I remember one time C and I had got into a fight with a boy who had pushed me into C. he had bullied me a lot that day. I remember that I took hold of him and lifted him from the ground and afterwards throwing him into the wall. It was as if I had super powers, but it was only anger. After he had hit the wall took C is a skrallespand standing nearby and threw it in his face. It was the only fight where I did some other mischief.)

the girl and her father decided that she had to move school, bullying could stop. It was the best thing that had happened to the girl the last year. The new school was a Christian school, with very few students and that she was not bullied. The girl was friends with everyone at school especially the teachers. At the new school girl was challenged in all subjects and teachers soon found out that she was very smart. But the consequences of bullying continued to follow the girl for several years.

(My new school is good and I have many friends, but they live just far away. I have learned something very important that everyone should know that you would have others do unto you that you should do unto them.

bullying was not just the only thing I fight against. in third grade I started getting eating disturbance. I was so upset at school that I just could not eat my food so I threw it always in the trash. it was not so bad because I still ate twice a day.

in the final turn of the third grade, I stopped also by eating breakfast food. but since it was vacation, I was forced to eat with my family. I was fine to eat with my family, because I was happy when I was not in school. and when I was happy I had the desire for food.

but then started school again and I stopped to eat breakfast and lunch. and after some time I only ate dinner when I felt hungry.

it kept that way for sixth grade. (which I had moved school) one of my friends came to me and asked if I did not like to eat my lunch. I just replied with that I was not hungry. it went on for a week. and then came one of my teacher to me and told me to eat my lunch. I just replied with okay. (I did not eat my lunch)

a few days later, I was home by my teacher after church. we should have dinner and I was not hungry. but I ate a little anyway. after we had eaten, my teacher wanted to talk to me. she told me to eat otherwise I would end up in the hospital. I did not understand what she meant.

a few days after I asked a girl who was living with my teacher about what it meant.
her face went from happy to completely serious. she said bluntly to me that if I did not eat I would die. but they would not want me to die. so if I did not eat they would send me to the hospital where I would be fed through a tube that went down in my stomach.

the next time my teacher would keep an eye on I ate my food. and I got much better so now I always like to eat.

my greatest wish in the whole wide world is to become a fashion designer and to get on the Ellen DeGeneres show. and talk about bullyng and its consequences (my mom says det impossible, but I believe det possible) PLEAS get Ellen to read my story, so I'm a bit closer, to a dream come true.

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jose david
342 days ago

im been bullied since 3 grade by the uper graders the call me gay that im a **** etc now im 9th grade they are in 10th grade and it continues i dont see the day that this is gonna end

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1 Reply
Cynthia Brown
400 days ago

My daughter was bullied in kindergarten and throughout elementary school. I recently found out that not only was she bullied but sexually molested by other students, back in kindergarten (10 years ago). I just found out about this the day before her 8th grade graduation and am absolutely devastated. Throughout her school years, she has gotten increasingly silent and will not particpate in activities, affecting her grades, and she is afraid to try to make friends. She doesn't even communicate at home as much. I feel like this has taken her childhood away and has deeply affected her. The police were of no help (because of the time frame. The school never transferred all of her records to her new school (we moved to another county) and I am at my wit's end. I feel so terribly bad for her that she has missed out on so much and can only pray that she can open up to trust the good people that are out there, and enjoy what is left of her youth. It is because of the bullying from 2003-2007 (and the molestation in 2003 that took place in a school bathroom) that she has become so withdrawn and has impacted her life forever.

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kathy browning
477 days ago

This was on my face book page and I find the actions disturbing

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kathy browning
477 days ago

Matthew Bent

Like · Share · March 26 at 3:41pm via mobile ·
443,126 people like this.
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Anna Lena Diedrich
502 days ago

Hi :)

As you can see I'm not like other girls at my age.
I was always kinda weird...
And I'm a little bit chubby, that's why I got bullied.
People at school called me witch or VenusAngelic because of my look.
I was never really popular.
In my class people laughed barely about everything about I said because my voice is kinda high-pitched.
I just had three friends, we were always happy but then one day the three came to me and told me that they get unpopular because of me!
They told me that I have too many flaws.
These three girls were very popular so now that I lost them I got more unpopular.
But there was that one girl in my class.
I think she is the most unpopular in my school.
I befriended her.
She was really nice :)
We became best friends.
One she she got bullied on facebook so I screencaped it and showed it to my teacher.
I got more unpopular.
People started bullying me on facebook too.
People started saying very mean things to me.
I wrote everything down what they said and gave this letter to my teacher.
Some people stopped bullying me.
But there are still some who do.
I want to become a actress just like Courteney Cox(She is so awesome! I love her!) that's why I still laugh and carry on!
When I see some one who get's bullied I defend them because I know what it is like to get bullied.
Now I want to get just as amazing as my Idol Courteney Cox.
I want to show the world that I'm not a ugly fat dolly witch like they called me.

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2 Replies
Christine Davis
513 days ago

Ellen I have be bullied all my life. By the 5th grade I was 5'2" over 200 pounds and the only girl in my class developing. So I was to tall, to fat, and boys wouldn't stop starring. When I got to high school all my classmates got taller than me because I stopped at 5'6". So then I was to short, to fat, and to smart. I thought leaving my small town and going to college would make it stop but it only continued. I still got picked on for being to fat and to smart. I am now 30 years old and I can hear the whispers all the time about me being to fat. I even had a lady with her daughter in the exercise equipment area of walmart tell her daughter she had to start working out because "you don't want to end up looking like her do you" as she was pointing at me. I have been working on my weight and am trying really hard but it is still hard to hear things like that. I work hard every day, I try to help people whenever I can, I help take care of my family and I don't think I am a bad person so that fact that the only thing everyone focus's on is my weight really hurts.

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ronda thompson
590 days ago

HI, I am a mother on a mission my son has been bullied for the past 2 years but 2 weeks ago it sent him to the hospital, my son was teased and blocked from getting help when he pushed the child away he was pushed into bleachers, had his legs sat on and was punched several times, to the side of the head , his chest you name it. I was surprised when I went to school the following monday to see that over 20 students gave statements agreeing what happen to him. Why would that many people stand ther and watch I dont understand, Alot of the kids know my son has severe asthma, and a hole in his heart and they did nothing, people say kids will be kids but these kids are turning into violent adults. I am only one person but I am going to keep this going . Nothing can take the pain away my son has suffered over the years but maybe me trying to do something about it, will help him and other kids. I am going to have any child adult or anyone against bullying hang a bulb on a tree in my back yard so maybe for a change the children like my son have something special of there own I am so tired of everything being about the bully, it is time to do something for them, I know it is not much but it is something. My goal in this is to have a good memory for them.

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Lisa Folk
655 days ago

A new form of bullying in our schools. Some might not see this as bullying BUT I do and so do many others and something needs to be done about it!

To Whom It May Concern:
My son attends Furman Middle School in Sumter SC. I would like to start by telling you about my son. He is an 8th grader by the name of Christian Compton. He is very involved I school and his education. He has been a straight A student and in the TAG program since elementary school. He is involved in Student Government and is currently running for class president. He is also the editor of the school newspaper and will be undergoing IQ testing at Francis Marion University in January based on his previous test scores and teachers recommendations. He has never been in any type of trouble or been subject to any type of discipline while attending school. He was also holding a steady perfect attendance until today.
Furman Middle School, as many know, has a uniform dress code policy that requires khaki pants, navy blue or white polo’s, brown or black belt, and white, black, or brown shoes. My wife and I have been supportive of this uniform policy due to the studies that prove a reduction in bullying and distractions from the educational process. I do however have a serious issue on how the uniform policy is being implemented and enforced. We purchased shoes, which to our understanding, met both the uniform policy and the requirements for gym class. These specific shoes are black Nike’s with a gray Nike “swoosh” trademark symbol on the side of the shoe. These shoes have been sufficient and past daily uniform inspections for the entire school year last year and thus far this year. As a matter of fact, they passed a uniform inspection first thing this morning. Later in Christian’s third period class, following an email to all teachers, he was sent to the office and told he would have to wear black bags on his feet for the remainder of the day. He immediately called us and we went straight to the school. When we arrived at the school we met with the assistant principle and he confirmed that unless we were able to provide our son with shoes that met the policies requirements he would not be able to attend class unless he wore bags on his feet. We also learned that a child that forgets their belt or wear a belt that is deemed non-compliant is forced to wear a brown string tied around their waist for the remainder of the day to attend class. I explained that solid black or white shoes that meet those requirements aren’t exactly easy to find in stores, our family is on a very fixed budget, and to be able to purchase these shoes and find them in his size in a store would be difficult on such short notice. I asked that if it took several weeks to find and afford such shoes would my son not be permitted to attend classes. The assistant principle advised me that he could only attend class with bags on his feet until the proper shoes were provided for him.
My issues are these:
1. The shoes have been adequate for two school years until today.
2. I can’t understand how a grey stripe on his shoe is more distracting to the educational process than bags on his feet.
3. By definition, humiliation and demoralization by being forced to wear bags on their feet or a string tied around their waist is bullying, not by other students but by the school administration. A simple note sent home, phone call, or parent conference would be sufficient I’m sure.
4. The school’s administration is creating their own obstacles in providing an education to our children by putting them in a position to be ridiculed and bullied, demoralizing, and humiliating them.
5. How can I, as a parent, support a uniform policy that is handled in a manner that humiliates children because their parents can’t afford to buy them a new pair of shoes on a few hours’ notice?
6. Other parents have now come forward with similar issues that include: colors on the soles of the shoes, a colored stripe on the inside of the polo shirt’s collar, too many buttons on the polo shirt, etc…. These uniform demands are unrealistic and absurd. I challenge any of you to visit the stores in Sumter and find affordable clothing that does not have some type of markings, logos, or trademark colors on them.

I could literally go on for hours with the reason’s I feel this is wrong. I have attempted to contact the local school board and district office where I received the run around, transfers to other people who have run me around, and numerous voicemails that have gone unanswered. The uniform policy has another reason for its existence: To prepare students for the “real world”. Well, in the real world we stand up for our rights and for what we believe in. I will be teaching my son that lesson from this!
I have already made initial contacts with local and state news media. My son has been denied a public education because he refuses to have his rights violated and becoming a subject of humiliation in front of his classmates. It is unfair and demoralizing for any middle school student to suffer such consequences. If a reduction from distraction in the public education system is the goal of the policy, how is creating a larger distraction with humiliation a sensible solution? If any child were to come from school and tell their parents that another child had humiliated them by forcing them to wear bags on their feet or a string around their waist that child would be considered a bully and probably be disciplined by any good school administrator. The way this policy is being handled, the lack of consistent enforcement, and the constant different interpretations of the policy by those that enforce it alone show that it was not well thought out and implemented properly.
It is my full intention to ensure my children get the quality education that is rightfully theirs. With that being said, we will also fight to protect them from a school system that demoralizes them by whatever means necessary.
James Compton

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656 days ago

Hi Ellen! I absolutely love you, you are in every way my idol :) When I saw this on your website I thought that I needed to tell my story to show how much words CAN hurt. Ever since middle school, I've have been bullied. Sometimes they were jokes taken to far, some times deliberate. Either way they hurt. On a daily basis I would be called things like; Attention wh*re, fake, preppy b**** and on. The more bullying, the less of me there was left. It felt as though I was dying inside.My parents never knew. Please don't think badly of them, I didn't want them to know worry. Still none the less I got up in the morning, and put on a forced smile acting as though nothing was wrong. By the age of 12 I started cutting. I would have to wear long sleeves all the time hiding them. I stopped singing, which had been my life. I was most literally a hollow shell. I lost my best friend when I told her that I cut. I had finally decided to tell her and only her and she left me completely and utterly alone. She thought I was to wierd. I'm 14 now, have stopped cutting, and things have been.... better. My parents still don't know which is FINE with me, but I have sorted through my friends finding out who was a true friend and who wasn't, making many new and caring friends. I found out after 2 years that you shouldn't care about what people say. Cheesy I know, but hear me out! Everyone that is thinking of suicide because of bullying needs to know that no matter what happens, DO NOT make a permanent solution out of a temporary problem. And for anyone who bullies I'm not going to say that I hate you, I would never.I will say though I hate what you do. Think about what you are doing, think about how it makes people feel. Wether your playing around or not, they take it to heart and it buries deep in their spirit. STOP BULLYING!! Does it make you feel stronger? Does it make you feel like a better person? And to anyone that is bullied, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please don't let it get you down. Nothing lasts forever, you are BETTER than they are. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are STRONG. You are YOU. Life is so beautiful, don't let a few people ruin it. <3

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Shannon McDonald
656 days ago

I haven't shared our bulling with anyone but my family, but I felt that maybe someother would learn from ours. My daughter is small for her age and very out going. She loves everything and will try new things. She is open and friendly. There was a girl last year that felt threaten by my daughter. She would trip her, push her books off the desk. She would whisper lies to her friends during the day and they would stop playing with my daughter. Her grades went from A's B's to D's. She stop sleeping at night, won't stay in her bed and refused to go to school. This went on for months. We noticed a change in her around Halloween.My husband and I thought it was just teasing since she had made friends with a girl who has very bad autism and asperger's. We told her it will stop, these kids just don't know how to be friends with someone who is different. My daughter is in Girl scouts and we taught them about being different with a program called zink the zebra. Well she said friends with this other girl until Christmas break. The school thought it would be best if this other child go to a school designed for this kind of learning. My husband and I thought it all would stop now. NO! This Bully continued to be mean and rude to my daughter. In the meantime we had emailed the teacher and principal asking for help. They knew nothing of this bulling going on. My daughter was told by one teacher, I don't have time for this, go sit down. Just totally ignored her troubles. I finally told my daughter if she does anything to you in any class, stand up and state her name and tell her, " Stop it, I am tired of you bulling me and thinking it's funny and you can get away with it" "Leave me alone". Of course my daughter had to say these things, because she was picked on again in class. This had other kids feel they could be strong too, so they stood up and asked her to leave them alone as well. This didnt stop anything. My husband finally told the school you will put her in another class or I will remove her from this school. 6 weeks left of this school year and she finally got moved. Her grades came back up to A's and B's and she passed 4th grade.! She still has night terrors and won't stay in her bed. She likes going back to school and has made some new friends. She is now 10 and 5th grade at her school. She started looking out for the KG and 1st graders at her school. She doesn't want them to feel like she did. Thanks for listening to my story.

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Holly Stammer
656 days ago

This past week our small community in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan were fortunate to be a part of the incredible program, Challenge Day!!! We have never felt so much love among our staff, students, and community members. We fundraised for over a year to have this program brought to us and it was well worth the large amount of money it took to get them to our school. We shared so many feelings, hugs and dance moves, I cannot even count! This program is an absolute life changing event that if I had one wish, it would be for each and every staff and student to experience the day with one of these wonderfully trained program leaders. It's been such an outpouring of love among students that I cannot communicate to others without tearing up. I hope to communicate to every school system and district our there, they need this brought to their own community! The Challenge Day Program needs to be recognized for their GIFT of love and acceptance, I just wish EVERYONE KNEW what a blessing this is! An absolute gig from above!

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Kathleen Wirth
656 days ago

Ok I just saw this and thought of you Ellen and how you always bring kid on your show. This little girl is being bullied by her neighbor and his 40+ year old dad.

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